Short and sweet

My nephew, R. just called me a "Good Helper."

Here is a list of things I "help" with...but only if there are applause afterwards:

1. I can pick a piece of old banana and put it in the garbage.
2. I can pour a cup of milk into a bowl.
3. I can put the last block on top of the Lego tower of Babylon, and watch as it comes crashing to the ground. (Bad architecture or Wrath of God? I wonder.)
4. I can wash my own hands after I make pee.
5. I can pull up my own pants and button them.

Beyond that, it's a crap shoot. You are playing with fire if you hand me glue and construction paper.

I'm just saying.